Early Winter
by Maggie Eaton
Summary: Jack and Sam are exploring their long awaited relationship with unexpected results. Short story. No Copyright Infringement Intended. COMPLETE Plus ALTERNATER ENDING. No Warning, suitable for all.
1. Chapter 1

Jack and Sam finally get the chance to explore their relationship

Just a short piece with an alternate ending for you to enjoy. The "shippy/happy" ending is a Prequel to Rendezvous. Chapter 2. _the alternate ending_…pure angst.

**Early Winter – Chapter 1. **

It was a clear, cool night and the first promise of winter filled the early morning air. A new day was waiting to be born just beyond the horizon, the kind she would normally cherish, but not today…_not today_. She huddled against the wall on the small deck, staring out into the dark canopy above her that was twinkling with a sprinkling of stars, her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms clasped at her ankles. An occasional tear still trickled from her eyes and found freedom on her cheeks, now red and chapped from the cold and wetness. She'd been here for hours, alone, just sitting and staring into the night.

It would be light soon. In a few hours, he'd be gone and a chapter of her life would close…_quite possibly forever_. And she sat here, cold and hurting, searching desperately for the answers.

They'd spent eight years of their lives together, working, fighting side by side and trusting each other, wounded, lost, tortured and recovering to do it all over again. They'd laughed and quarreled, seen indescribable wonders, inconsolable terrors, laughed, cried, lived…_even died_ together. They could talk without speaking, read the slightest flicker in the other's eyes, finish the other's sentence and in the field, anticipate the other's moves, but _talk_ to each other…about this…thing between them…impossible.

There was so much at stake, _so much_ to lose. She'd often wondered what it would be like between them if the military wasn't an issue. Now, they had a chance, a small window of opportunity to explore their feelings. This might be the only chance they ever had to make their relationship work, to set things right – to define their commitment to each other. And they were blowing it. _Totally_, _undeniably_, blowing it. Both of them.

It wasn't awkward to be alone with Jack. It was nice, comfortable – like wearing your favorite jeans with a new, sexy perfume. They weren't even nervous. They just touched more, kissed more and held each other close. It was great. It was like coming home in early spring or sitting beside a roaring fire. They loved each other and all was right in the world…until yesterday.

The memory of walking beside him in the park illuminated her mind, the musky smell of his cologne and the feel of his hand as he timidly reached for hers pressing her fingers against his lips in a gentle kiss. And that _look_ in his eyes. She'd seen it a few times before in fleeting, unguarded moments but he'd always hidden it quickly, only once allowing her to study it or even be certain that it was real.

"_You know I have to leave tomorrow."_ He had stared at her with hope and love spilling freely from those intense, dark eyes and she heard again his quiet, anxious voice. Only a few words, spoken only once but she knew it held the sum of all his emotions, his _longing_ for her. _"Come with me, Sam, marry me?" _

She'd watched the hope drain away as she hesitated, changing to an all too familiar shade of sadness highlighted with regret. Her mouth opened to speak and her head shook side to side slightly, "No…"

They'd barely spoken after that. He had dropped her off at home and kissed her sweetly on the cheek, holding her hand in his once more, rubbing his thumb softly against her skin and staring down at their intertwined fingers for a long time. When he raised his eyes back to hers, he dropped her hand and the look was gone, hidden behind the mask he'd worn for so many years and she realized she'd made a horrible mistake. "_Jack_…"

But he didn't let her finish. _"Goodbye, Sam."_ And just like that it was over. No lingering, no looking back or pausing, no discussion, he climbed into his truck and drove away, out of her life.

She didn't know how long she'd stood there looking after him, staring into the darkness as the truck disappeared and feeling the cold settle then take hold of her heart. The next thing she remembered, she was here, looking up at the stars, salty tears stinging her eyes, her thoughts reduced to a single word…_Jack._

'_Oh, God, did I really say no?_' Her silence, the look in her eyes, a moment of doubt had said it all, even if she hadn't spoken, he would have known. He did know, he had read it clearly and he didn't need or want any other explanations.

'_What are you doing?' _The little voice inside her head yelled out clearly causing her to snap her head up and focus her eyes. _'He won't be back if you let him go like this. He won't ask again.' _"I know." She spoke the words aloud, answering the thoughts in her own mind. _'You're giving up without a fight, without even trying, after all this time?' _

Suddenly she was up and moving, grabbing for her keys and I.D. as she ran out the door.

She pulled her car to a stop at the base entrance and presented her I.D.

"Your business, Colonel?"

"I need to see General O'Neill. And I'm in a hurry; his plane is scheduled for takeoff in a few minutes."

The young soldier nodded his head as he scanned her I.D. and then directed her to the departure runway. She smiled at him briefly then pressed firmly on the accelerator causing the tires to squeal as she pulled away.

A few panicked minutes later she had reached her destination and pulled abruptly to a halt throwing gravel and dust flying into the air. She bolted from the car running at a full sprint towards the aircraft, her eyes searching for his tall lean figure while she tried to control her panic.

There was a group of airmen standing near the plane, milling about uselessly, but no officers and _no Jack_. Was she at the wrong runway? Her heart clenched in her chest as she refused to accept that possibility and she took short, ragged breaths as she slowed her pace and stopped. Her eyes searched almost frantically, hoping, praying that she'd missed him and this time she'd see him. But, no. No General. _No Jack._

A bit of movement caught her eye and she turned to see a jeep pulling up to the nose of the plane and two pilots stepping out. She watched in a daze as they lifted their gear and moved away from the jeep. She should have known he'd insist on flying his own plane. She held her breath waiting for the lanky figure, eyes hidden behind sunglasses, to look towards her. He moved again and her eye caught the glint of stars on his collar, a splash of silver at his temples and a warm, inviting smile. Jack.

He wasn't looking at her, hadn't even noticed she was there; he was busily preparing to board the plane and she had to get to him before he did. Her feet were running again, eating up the tarmac in large bites as she moved as swiftly as she could towards the plane.

He turned away and her chest clenched again. _'Wait!' _He didn't stop and suddenly she realized it was only her mind speaking so she yelled loudly. "General!"

He paused and half turned towards her, but still didn't see her. "General!" She was almost there - almost within reach as he turned again, pausing as he finally spotted her running towards him at full tilt.


	2. Chapter 2 A

**Early Winter – Chapter 2. (Angst)**

She came to a stop, somewhat awkwardly, only inches away from him and started to raise her hand in salute, but paused looking at the pilot standing close beside him. Jack looked at her for a moment and then turned to the other man.

"Go ahead, Captain. I'm right behind you." As the Captain climbed into the plane, Jack turned back to face her. "Is there a problem, Carter?"

"If I could just have a minute, Sir."

She cursed herself silently for not planning the words she needed to say. She wasn't prepared and she stammered like an idiot as she stared up at him.

"I'm listening."

Man, he wasn't going to cut her any slack, all business all the time.

"Sir…" She paused again, cursing inside her head as words again failed her.

"Colonel, I'm in a bit of a hurry." He pointed to the plane coming to life loudly behind him. "I'm sure General Landry can handle whatever problems you might have."

And then he turned away quickly and panic welled up inside her. 'Dammit!' she thought. 'What can I say to stop him?' and suddenly realized it would only take one word. She took a few steps forward closing the distance between them and yelled.

"Jack!"

He stopped and turned, staring, eyes hidden behind his glasses and then continued towards the plane. Her heart pounded in her chest as she realized the finality of his actions. She was losing him

"Jack, please, wait!"

She was yelling hoping he could hear her over the roar of the engines as she started to jog towards him. She caught up with him just as he reached the stairs leading to the cockpit and reached out to grasp his arm. He turned in response, his face a mask of military calm as he studied her.

"Jack! Jack, wait!"

"Carter, there's nothing more to be said, especially not here. Just let it go."

"You set me up, Jack. What else could I say?"

She starred into his eyes, waiting for him to sort through it all.

"You could have said yes."

"Jack, I'm in the military, for God sakes…and so are you!" Her hand reached out and flipped up the collar on his flight suit. "You're a damn General! If it were that easy we could have done something years ago."

"Well, like I said, Colonel, this isn't the time or the place."

"It's exactly the right time and place, Jack, this is the only chance we get!"

He was looking directly at her, his jaw clenching slightly as he stared.

"Ask me another question."

His head tilted slightly to one side and his face donned a puzzled expression as his hand came up to remove his sunglasses.

"What?"

"Ask me _another_ question."

For a long moment he stared at her, thinking, doubting, fighting off the desire to do exactly what she was asking of him and she could see it all in his eyes. Then his body twisted slightly and he straightened to his full height, handsome and impressive as his lips pursed in a firm line and intense eyes stared at her silently. When he finally spoke his voice was low and steady.

"I'm sorry, Sam."

"You're…what? You're…"

"I'm sorry. It just isn't going to work and you know it. It never will. It's time for us to face that and get on with our lives."

"My life is you, Jack."

"I wish that were true, but you know better. There's no way for us to win at this game. The deck is stacked against us, always has been, always will be."

"No, Jack, I'll quit, I'll resign!"

He sighed and smiled slightly.

"Then why haven't you, Sam? Why haven't I?"

"But, Jack…"

"It doesn't matter what you say, Sam, it won't change my mind. Nothing can change what I saw in your eyes yesterday. You made your decision and you made the right one."

"But, I love you, Jack."

Tears were streaming down her face in a steady flow and her body was beginning to quiver as she realized he wasn't going to give in. She could see the determination in his eyes, but she refused to give up.

"I love you, too, Sam, but sometimes it just isn't enough. Time was all out of synch for us…from the very beginning we were destined to lose. It just wasn't in the cards."

"There has to be a way."

"There isn't. I've done everything I can think of and even if there was anything…"

"For God's sake, Jack! It was just one word."

He looked at her quietly; sadness spilling from his eyes the same way tears were falling from hers.

"Yeah."

He dropped his gaze from her face and sucked in a deep breath.

"I don't want to lose you, Jack. I'll do whatever it takes, right now, today. Please…forgive me."

"It's not a matter of forgiving you, Sam. It's knowing that when you had the chance, you didn't choose me."

"Jack, that's not…"

"It's okay. I understand. I just don't think I can forget that." He turned and pointed at the plane waiting behind him. "I'm sorry, I really have to go."

She just looked at him, helpless to stop him, her heart breaking.

"Good bye, Sam."

He reached long arms around her, crushing her in his embrace for a long moment and then maneuvered her into a sensual kiss, expressing all the things he would never get the chance to say. When he released her, tears were still glistening in her eyes and he brushed a thumb across her cheek, wiping away the moisture as his eyes squinted slightly trying to force a smile.

"No more tears. It'll be ok."

She didn't answer. She just stared back at him feeling lost and alone.

He smiled and leaned in to brush her lips once more in a sweet, quick kiss and then mounted the stairs. He paused at the top and turned back towards her, giving her one, final smile and reminding himself this was the right thing to do, no matter how much it hurt. She would realize it, too, once he was gone. She'd be ok.

He pulled the door closed and leaned against it for a moment, wiping a stubborn tear from his eye then he stowed his gear and squeezed into the left seat. He was putting on his headset when the Captain looked over at him.

"Ready to go, Sir?"

"Yeah, ready."

He snugged his harness down tightly and checked the instrument panel, preparing for takeoff. Then he glanced out his window to make sure Sam was safely out of the way. His eyes locked onto her as she ran away from the plane and with each staggering step, the cold fingers of regret slipped deeper into his heart. He wanted to pull away but his eyes refused to let go of her. They followed her as she ran towards the fence and stopped, watched as her hands covered her eyes, her body shuddered and she fell to her knees. He could tell she was crying, sobbing. He felt something inside him break as she fell forward on her face in the snow and he struggled with his own threatening emotions at the sight of her agony.

The Captain turned his head towards Jack and asked casually.

"Your wife, Sir?"

"No."

"Oh. Someone special then?"

"Yeah, definitely special. Now, let's get this bird in the air, Captain."

Jack kept his eyes on her until he received clearance for takeoff then he pushed the controls forward and rocketed down the runway. In seconds he was gone…but the picture of her sprawled helplessly in the snow, mourning the utterance of a single word, would remain emblazoned on his memory forever.

The End


	3. Chapter 2 B

Early Winter - Chapter 2.2 Alternate Ending (shippy) **Prequel to Rendezvous**

She came to a stop, somewhat awkwardly, only inches away from him and started to raise her hand in salute, but paused looking at the pilot standing close beside him. Jack looked at her for a moment and then turned to the other man. "Go ahead, Captain. I'm right behind you." As the Captain climbed into the plane, Jack turned back to face her. "What are you doing here, Carter?"

"I…" She cursed herself silently for not planning the words she needed to say. She wasn't prepared and she stammered like an idiot as she stared up at him. "I had something to say."

"I'm listening." Man, he wasn't going to cut her any slack, all business all the time.

"Sir…" She paused again, cursing inside her head as words again failed her.

"I don't really have time to _chat_, Carter, I have to go." He pointed to the plane coming to life loudly behind him. "I'm sure General Landry can handle whatever problems might you have."

And then he turned away quickly and panic welled up inside her. '_Dammit_!' she thought. _'What can I say to stop him?_' and suddenly realized it would only take one word. She took a few steps forward closing the distance between them and yelled, "Jack!"

She didn't know if it was the urgency in her voice or simply his name but he stopped and turned, staring, eyes still hidden behind his glasses. Then slowly he moved towards her. He didn't stop until he was very close, until he was invading her personal space.

"What?"

"What happened to 'no one gets left behind'?"

He cocked his head to one side and lifted a hand to remove his glasses.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't leave me behind, Jack."

"Carter, you said no."

"You set me up, Jack. What else could I say?" She starred into his eyes, waiting for him to sort through it all.

He waved his arm in the air indicating the area around them. "This isn't the time or the place, Sam." He dropped his head slightly as he spoke, knowing that she was right.

"Then when? You know as well as I do that this is it. This is the only chance we have, Jack. I'm not letting you get on that plane until this is settled."

He was still looking down, avoiding her eyes.

"And how do you intend to stop me, Colonel?"

"Ask me another question."

His head popped up and his face wore a puzzled expression.

"What?"

"Ask me _another_ question." She spoke each word slowly and distinctly while holding him locked in her gaze.

For a long moment he stared at her, thinking, doubting, fighting off the fear of another rejection and she could see it all in his eyes. His body twisted and then straightened as a sort of tremor passed through him and his eyes questioned her silently. She nodded her head as he continued to hesitate.

When he finally spoke his voice was low and uncertain, risking everything in those few words, skeptical of her answer.

"Wait for me?"

"Yes." She stated emphatically and smiled broadly. "God! Yes!"

She waited just long enough to see the brilliant smile play across his lips and then she was wrapping her arms around him, hugging him tightly, oblivious to anything or anyone else.

He crushed her in his embrace for a long moment and then maneuvered her into a sensual kiss, expressing all the things he couldn't say. When they broke apart, tears were glistening in her eyes, but she was smiling. He brushed a thumb across her cheek, wiping away the moisture as his eyes squinted slightly trying to return her smile.

"We can't seem to get this right, can we?"

"We will."

"Yeah?"

She nodded her head and reached for his hand that still rested against her face, squeezing his fingers tightly.

"I…gotta go, but I'll call you when I get to Washington."

"I'll be waiting."

He smiled and leaned in to brush her lips quickly in a sweet, quick kiss.

"Talk to you soon then."

He started to back away but held onto her hand until he was out of reach, their fingers finally slipping apart as the distance separated them. He gave her one, final smile and boarded the plane.

Jack stowed his gear and squeezed into the left seat. He was putting on his headset as the Captain looked over at him.

"Ready, Sir?"

"Almost, Captain."

He snugged his harness down tightly and checked the instrument panel, preparing for takeoff. Then he glanced out his window to make sure Sam was safely out of the way. His eyes locked on her and he whispered her name without even realizing it. He watched her intently, his smile growing warmer, as she ran towards the fence and stopped, arms outstretched to the sky, head tilted upwards towards the falling snow…spinning. _Spinning_…around and around, eyes closed and that magnificent smile that he loved adorning her face.

The Captain leaned toward the window and smiled as he saw what Jack was watching.

"Your wife, Sir?"

"Not yet, Captain, but someday, if I'm lucky."

Jack kept his eyes on her until she was safely behind the fence and he saw her wave to him, then he pushed the controls forward and in seconds was gone…the picture of her spinning carelessly, happily with the soft snow falling all around her emblazoned on his memory forever. He was already counting the hours until he could return to her.

The End

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